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24 October 2016 @ 04:38 am
i'm not worried about the exam itself (even if i do badly i can't be so bad that i fail) BUT i'm STILL having groupwork problems. so, the one girl left our group, then the second had some kind of mental breakdown and isn't able to work right now. she's planning on working but we have like 5 group assignments to do, everything MUST be done in a week from now and i've heard almost nothing from her in the past 2 days.

my plan is:

monday (today, after i've slept - it's 4:30 right now) — do my grammar take-home test, write all the scripts for our groupwork, get my wife to check my teacher's feedback on all my forum posts so i know i didn't fail any (i hate reading feedback, it freaks me out), catch up on memrise (200+ reviews await me). glance over what i wrote for my final essay and review all the grammar/kanji we learnt over the class. and after all that i can record my parts for the groupwork, then i push my partner to record hers. hopefully i can do it all in one day.

— tuesday, take my final exam. finish up that other stuff if i didn't manage to finish it all.

then i have 2 weeks until the next class starts, which means i'll be:
— finishing that first japanese lesson + reading practice
— finishing that game translation
— studying vocabulary for class ahead of time
— preparing tons of extra study materials (ebooks with translation notes etc) because once class starts i won't have time again
— cleaning my room
— better go to social services again whether we get that eye paper or not

all this time i'd been thinking i could do half-time studies next semester. apparently that's not the case, because the course you -need- to take is ONLY offered inside a full-time "course package". you can't take it individually (thus being half-time) despite that you can take the other 2 included courses individually. i think i might have to email them asking what's up...
22 October 2016 @ 03:36 pm
i have a lot of side-projects that will probably never get finished... and i just started another one. translating the pilot ep of due south to chinook jargon! i'm still learning it myself but i'll work on it off and on in my free time and hopefully it'll be finished someday.

15 October 2016 @ 12:58 pm

— i'm reading and/or writing in japanese EVERY day now, thanks to twitter. but as soon as i try to say something too complicated (like explaining an english phrase that has a lot of nuance) they stop being able to understand me... still i'm not even done with my first year of studies yet so i think i'm doing well.

— i began looking at indonesian and chinook jargon (native american/pidgin language from my hometown area) again. i asked the library to buy the one book on the modern form of it that exists for me, and they did so, and now i've been translating the meanings to esperanto and adding all the words/meanings to an excel sheet. i'm going to put in the main old spellings as well in another column and have my own dictionary... i've been planning to make a textbook for it and actually already started, but wanted to get a hold of this new book first.

indonesian is difficult because no one can clearly explain what any of the affixes mean and 90% of the "grammar" and word-building is just affixes! incredible, isn't it. i think i understood 2 of the affixes based on attacking texts with a dictionary, but to my surprise those same 2 exist in the modern verson of chinook jargon. i've also been translating a certain videogame to chinook jargon but again was waiting for this new book, good thing i did because i've decided i'll use the old spelling system (which, by far, is easier to read and more people are familiar with) but the new grammar and words (otherwise the text in the game would get too long, there didn't even used to be a word for "mushroom").

the text adventure game my wife and i are making is going well, she did basically everything and i'm just translating it a little bit each night.

13 October 2016 @ 08:36 pm

my wife and i have almost finished making a mini text adventure game, she's even made pictures for it. we're going to put it up on "itch" i think it's called, some site where people can name their price and thus donate money if they want.

i'm meeting more and more japanese people all the time via twitter (none have turned into true friendships yet but we'll see), and in general doing a lot of stuff to improve my japanese. i think i've gotten over my fear of writing in japanese to japanese people (thinking that i'm actually very possibly GOING TO JAPAN to live is a big motivator in everything now), i just have to really improve my understanding and speaking. i'm making my own pop-up dictionary by adding in words as i find them in context, because the existing one is crap — having wrong, reaaaally obscure or missing meanings. the wordlist is all saved to XML so i can hire someone to make me a better tool later when i have money, and i can publish it as a mini dictionary later as well.

my final exam (which is in about 2 weeks) is going to be a lot easier than i thought, they're not even testing us on hand-writing kanji which is my weakest point. but i'm still really behind on my homework, i'm trying to do recording tasks and keep messing up and get really frustrated (same thing when i try to record in english or swedish or esperanto ---- that's why i can't be a youtube star). my plan is to do ALL those recording tasks tomorrow.... some require my groupwork partner.

also i watched some random unsubbed anime i'd already seen years ago ("planet of the beast king" aka. jyuu ou sei) and i didn't get much of the first ep, but i understood like 90% of the second ep and 70% of the third ep! it's mostly just a bunch of cliché lines so that's why it was so easy, but i'm really excited. also i'm going to start up a blog on ipernity (=place where you can easily insert photo albums into blog posts) in preparation for the exchange. i'll just make an intro post about me and explain how i'm studying japanese in preparation / show examples from the japanese classes i've taken so far, then let the blog sit until i've actually applied and gotten info back. the plan during the exchange would be to just write short entries in english, swedish, japanese and esperanto and have mostly photos.... but we'll see.

on the fandom/fiction front: i haven't been writing any real things but i've been doing super-mini drabbles on twitter or for other stuff on the fly. so something's going at least... i just keep doing random stuff until i'm so tired i HAVE to sleep and that's why i don't write much fiction anymore.

07 October 2016 @ 10:21 am
GREAT NEWS!!!! studying in japan is free (=no tuition payments) if you’re a student at my uni! can work part-time & bring my wife! rent is super cheap! so my only costs would be food, transportation, free time stuff etc except i’d also get some help there because i’d get “student money” from the swedish government! (about enough to cover food only).

and you only -have- to know N4 level japanese (=end of 1st year’s studies, which i’m almost done with) to go.

i’m soooo excited, i thought there was no way in hell it’d be possible. the catch is, they only accept 3 students from our school per year. BUT it might, miiight be possible to contact the exchange office and ask if there’s any other free place i can also apply to. so!!! i have to!!!

1. not quit studying japanese!!!

2. WRITE BOOKS, MAKE MONEY! (have to prove i have enough money to support myself while on the student VISA, but i can also get a loan for that)
02 October 2016 @ 11:59 am
i just saw someone getting paid to write (not very good) fanfic. as in, commissions. something like $7 per 500 words. they couldn't keep their tenses straight within the same sentence, and i didn't exactly notice any originality in stuff like the description (which was in the "halfway description, halfway writing down my headcanon" method that seems to be extremely popular right now).

i'm just like.... ok, i know people get paid for fanart. theoretically you shouldn't be earning any money on that, but you definitely shouldn't be earning a LIVING off it. as soon as people start doing so, and certain people and companies notice, they'll start cracking down on everything. we might stop having FFN and AO3 and Pixiv. or, you know, you might get in trouble due to copyright law or something. japanese fandom people will hate westerners even more, etc. but that's not my biggest issue really.... it's just that people are actually paying people to write this stuff. something i don't exactly read and think "wow, that was well-written" and "that plot is interesting" etc. and no one's gonna pay ME to write fanfic either.....
26 September 2016 @ 01:13 pm
i’m a “mutual follower” of some japanese people who are learning esperanto, on twitter. they make suuuch cute mistakes. i’ll translate some:

i very to become big (=i want to become big; since a bodybuilder is saying this, they might mean “to become muscular” LOL)

i eat chocolate because i a hunger (=am hungry)

i am a hurrah to you! (=i’m cheering you on!)

it’s sooo cute ;_;; and i’ve never had a problem understanding any of them even once. even the ones that only started learning esperanto last MONTH. even though we’re on twitter, where technically you have almost no context clues. i actually don’t want them to get better and start talking like everyone else, because it’s way more exciting and fun to get that “i understood them perfectly!!” feeling…
so i’m trying to remember about this and make myself write in japanese to them sometimes too. they’re probably also thinking my wrong japanese is cute, right? gotta perservere! ;_;

today the teacher said we only have 3 weeks of class left, i knew it already but hearing it actually come from her mouth made me breath a sigh of relief... but i have to study and get ahead for the second half to the semester, which is a "new class". SIGH. i keep running into the problem where i already understand the grammar we're going over, but the class/textbook explanation is so bad it actually confuses me and messes me up.

i'm also thinking hard about writing mob psycho 100 fic, and some more devilman fic... i might also transfer my old esperanto fics from my old account on AO3 to my current one (i had problems with someone on there a while ago so i didn't transfer anything, but maybe it's safe now)
22 September 2016 @ 09:45 pm
neĝo falas kore, / snow falls in (the, my) heart
profunda silent' / a deep silence
ĉi tago denove / this day again
denove, bonven' / again, welcome
21 September 2016 @ 12:03 am

so, talking to some guy whose esperanto is, errr, “textbook” for lack of a better word. i don’t mind this at all, but what i do mind is people saying what others can and can’t say. if i can understand you, i don’t mind what you say or how you say it, no matter how many typos, grammatical errors or word-choice errors you may be making. if i don't understand some word you used i just ignore it unless absolute understanding is vital to the sentence (hint: it's usually not). i mean, i talk with japanese ladies who only started learning esperanto last month, and 40-year-old chinese policemen whose esperanto isn't much better, so i can't be picky.

but, for example, just now i said "teleparolilo" (tele - bridging long distances; parol - speech, talk; ilo - tool) for "phone". as a comparision, the standard word for TV is "televidilo" (vid - view, see), for remote control is i believe "teleregilo" (reg - rule).

this guy goes basically, "do you mean telefono? tele isn't an esperanto word".

oh? it's not? despite that it appears in those words above, as well as in words like "telegram, telegraph" etc? despite that "fono" means as in "phonic" (to be honest, i still only connect that to Hooked On Phonics)? despite that esperanto is meant for simple, easy communication?

you know, i JUST today saw a post about how there's like 10 different ways to say "hobby" in esperanto ("like-occupation, side-occupation, my little pony" are just 3 options). i myself have come up with like 20 (mildly) different ways to say "bus stop". i come up with words all the time, because that's what this language is for, it's a LEGO-language where you piece together words via building blocks according to need. the other day i wrote "tedonunto" (person who would be giving tea) because i needed to actually say it, y'know?! at other times i've written much funnier/stranger words... i can't think of any of them right now but the last one someone didn't understand was "mordido - bite-offspring", which i was using to poetically mean indent marks on a table from rats biting it.

(btw i don't think that people always need to understand what you're writing in fiction/poetry/song lyrics. even if they think they understand, their view of your work is way different from your own anyway)

early on when first learning esperanto, i said "fire-mountain" for "volcano". one english-native guy asked what that meant and said had to say volcano instead. the thing is, i have studied around 10 different languages to a greater or lesser degree and "fire-mountain" is the way to say volcano in every single one of them - except modern english, which says "volcano". where does volcan come from? hmm, how about Vulcan, the god of fire? i could maybe understand his confusion, except we had already been talking about volcanic eruptions, i didn't mention fire-mountains out of nowhere!

when you begin learning esperanto, everyone says there's so few words blah blah. but this is not true when, basically, coming from anyone who knows english or french well. these people are so stupid they don't even know what a blog is, so instead of saying "online diary, online journal, writing-space, place for memories", whatever, they decide they need to borrow an entirely new word - "blog". meanwhile they push out everyone who comes from some other, more remote mother tongue - like the chinese and japanese people, who have almost no words in common with english/french so they can't just see "telefono" and go "ah, a telephone!", they have to learn every single word on top of having extra struggles with the grammar. it makes me mad that people are so inconsiderate.

anyway. i have never told anyone, stop using those words. i've always broken up words for people when they asked what something meant (tele-parol-ilo). i usually ask my wife (either before or afterwards) if she can understand the word i made up, and she doesn't even know esperanto so if SHE understands it, it should be perfectly fine. yet i get people telling ME to stop using MY words.

this really annoys me, because i'm ALREADY watering down my esperanto so everyone who follows me can understand it more easily. when i write to myself, i don't use english-like word order or word construction, but i do so on twitter because it's what most people use. esperanto's original intent was 1. use few words, use logical words, 2. be vague and understand based on context instead, 3. if someone understands you, you're correct no matter how may grammar or pronunciation rules you break. except, apparently a ton of modern people have such a lack of reading comprehension that they can't understand even that.

17 September 2016 @ 10:24 pm
wrote and posed a fanfic after FOREVER! though it's not exactly great quality, and it's only around 300 words, it came out surprisingly easy.

i got paid $15 for giving someone a faroese lesson and i'm working on a japanese lesson that'll go to a couple people... i also levelled up in singing thanks to the singing weekend our club had (over the course of the weekend i noticed i got better and better at certain notes), but who knows if i fell back down already.

i also started watching a japanese drama series, it's the 3rd i've tried (this one is about foreigners learning japanese so it teaches some good stuff at least). it's not that great but what's shocking is how it's JUST LIKE ANIME AND MANGA. i mean, bad anime and manga. they even have characters falling down randomly. i had kinda thought that their manga and their RL stuff was separate but i guess not.

i'm still going back and forth when it comes to schoolwork. can i even manage the second half of this semester? not at this rate, i don't think. we're already halfway through the first half and i've gotten behind in homework. it's really just a problem of, like always, feeling so stressed at home that i don't want to do anything - on top of feeling so discouraged in general that i don't want to study, even though i'm studying japanese which i do really love... sigh. i wish i could just get a job in japan and move there!

i also got an invitation to a group interview for "praktik" (=unpaid internsip) at Media Markt, some electronics store. But it's a 5-hour meeting, even if I get the "job" (which is unlikely) it's still unpaid, and they even want me to bring a police report to ensure that I'm not a former criminal. Except, they say on their paper it normally takes 4-5 days to get the report in the mail but the police website says it normally takes two weeks. And they didn't even send out this invite 2 weeks in advance. i just feel like... screw everyone!! just gimme a job and don't interview me along with 30 other people!